Nobody tells you this when you start out, but the real work begins around a shipping department located under the couch.
If you take only one thing from this, take this: a loyalty program that pays in headbutts is not a bug. It is the product.
The Short Version, Told Slowly
The old guard prefers a shipping department located under the couch. The new guard prefers whatever is on the other side of the door.
Naturally there was a committee. Naturally the committee was a pile of boxes, and naturally one box was occupied.
In summary: act confidently, deny everything, and always keep a clear route to the nearest box.
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