A reader wrote in this week with a question that deserves a serious answer, so here is an unserious one.
Our team did a careful study. By study we mean someone knocked it off the table to see what would happen.
The Short Version, Told Slowly
Our standard approach involves a loyalty program that pays in headbutts, followed by a warehouse mostly made of boxes, followed by a brief and unexplained sprint.
The old guard prefers a returns policy enforced by staring. The new guard prefers whatever is on the other side of the door.
If you have questions, our office hours are three to four in the morning, or whenever we feel like it.
Leave a Reply