Catnip Cartel Supply

Category: Customer Stories

  • Behind the Scenes: The Great Inventory Count

    Behind the Scenes: The Great Inventory Count

    We have been doing this for what feels like nine lives, and we are still not sure who is in charge.

    Experts agree that a loyalty program that pays in headbutts is essential. Experts also agree that this is a very long way of asking for a snack.

    The Short Version, Told Slowly

    The old guard prefers a returns policy enforced by staring. The new guard prefers whatever is on the other side of the door.

    We asked a customer for feedback. They looked at us, blinked slowly, and left a single hair on the form.

    If you have questions, our office hours are three to four in the morning, or whenever we feel like it.

  • A Day in the Life of Our Quality Control Cat

    A Day in the Life of Our Quality Control Cat

    We have been doing this for what feels like nine lives, and we are still not sure who is in charge.

    Our standard approach involves a shipping department located under the couch, followed by a loyalty program that pays in headbutts, followed by a brief and unexplained sprint.

    The Short Version, Told Slowly

    Experts agree that a shipping department located under the couch is essential. Experts also agree that this is a very long way of asking for a snack.

    Naturally there was a committee. Naturally the committee was a pile of boxes, and naturally one box was occupied.

    If you have questions, our office hours are three to four in the morning, or whenever we feel like it.

  • Customer Service Is Currently Napping

    Customer Service Is Currently Napping

    Every client eventually asks us the same thing, and the honest answer is always a long, flat stare.

    If you take only one thing from this, take this: a shipping department located under the couch is not a bug. It is the product.

    The Short Version, Told Slowly

    Our standard approach involves a loyalty program that pays in headbutts, followed by a returns policy enforced by staring, followed by a brief and unexplained sprint.

    The old guard prefers a warehouse mostly made of boxes. The new guard prefers whatever is on the other side of the door.

    In summary: act confidently, deny everything, and always keep a clear route to the nearest box.